Random Crap and Cream Cheese Chocolate Chip Cookies

Oh Canada.

What have you wrought on the world?

It seems that famous Canadians are in the news every day, often for bad behaviour. Well…two famous Canadians as of late. We have the gift that keeps on giving in the form of Toronto’s “no I never used crack…ok, yeah I did but only once because I was drunk” mayor Rob Ford. That’s just the tip of the iceberg! My favourite is when he talked about how he has more than enough to eat at home (wink wink nudge nudge he ain’t talkin’ about food). Canadian politics have NEVER been this interesting.

Have you seen this trailer for “Rob Ford the Movie” using a compilation of scenes from Chris Farley’s Tommy Boy? It’s frighteningly accurate.

However, it can’t all be innocent fun ‘n games. Just look at the exploits of douchebag extraordinaire, Justin Bieber. Seriously, America, you can keep him. We don’t want him!

Pissing in buckets, dissing ex-Presidents, being carried up the Great Wall of China, meeting the Canadian Prime Minister (who I have no respect for but would still slap on a dress and maybe comb my hair) in overalls, racing around his neighbourhood endangering the lives of children and now drunk driving. Why don’t you just load a gun and start shooting randomly into the street, Biebs, if you’re that intent on killing somebody?

At least we gave the world Celine Dion. This woman is an national international universal treasure. You just can’t help but smile when you see her do stuff like this:

She’s all kinds of amazing! Why I couldn’t find GIFs of her lunging and chest thumping (two of her signature moves) is beyond me but I’ll take what I can get.

Her existence almost makes up for the fact that this dress WILL.NOT.DIE.AND.RETURN.TO.HELL.WHERE.IT.BELONGS.

I’m only showing you the tame front views. There aren’t enough DEAR GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYs in the world for this. My eyeballs are rolling so hard they’re gonna fly right outta my head.

We definitely need a palate cleanser.
Like these delicious soft batch cream cheese chocolate chip cookies from Averie Cooks.
I didn’t change a thing from her recipe so click HERE to view her original post.

Yes, I did eat this cookie dough raw straight from the bowl. Don't judge.

Yes, I did eat this cookie dough raw straight from the bowl. Don’t judge.

I’ve been wanting to make this recipe for a long time since I was intrigued by the addition of the cream cheese. I used an ice cream scoop to make the cookies big ‘n thick (you just need to press each mound down a bit because the cookies don’t spread much during baking).
These cookies are fantastic. Straight out of the oven, they have wonderfully crisp edges and a super soft interior. The cookies actually get better with the passage of time. The next day, they lose the crisp edges but the inside stays soft and tender. It’s a weird word to use for a cookie but as you bite and chew, it becomes really creamy and I think the texture is owed to the cream cheese and corn starch that Averie uses.
Go forth and make these cookies! Your taste buds will be happy and they’ll help blunt the horror that is that dress.

73 thoughts on “Random Crap and Cream Cheese Chocolate Chip Cookies

  1. Nancy, oh my gawd. . you are HILARIOUS! I miss your posts! 🙂 so glad to see you here again. . I am baking these cookies this weekend for Super Bowl Sunday . . woot woot!!! and freaking love the animated gifs of Celine Dion. Freaking brilliant. ok, now we all have to search for gifs of her lunging and chest thumping! Word.

    • Thanks, woman! This is one of my favourite posts so far, just because all the GIFs and photos make me laugh. I had to share it with all of you! I seriously couldn’t believe that I couldn’t find videos or GIFs of Celine lunging and chest thumping. Those are her two famous moves! Anyways, I’m excited that you’re going to be baking these this weekend. Tony ‘n I have already finished eating the double batch that I made. You’ll love them!

  2. Oh my! Hahaha what a wonderful thing to look at first thing on a Thursday morning. I mean the cookies. That dress is somethin elseee. These look perfect like those grocery store cookies that always look so appealing but taste like sweet cardboard but I’m sure they’re eons better since they’re homemade!! Eep! Can’t wait. Want to make rightnow.

    And the biebs…hoo man. I don’t think we need any more trainwrecks over here in the states actually. Let’s be real.

    • It’s too freaky seeing these half nekkid women first thing in the morning! I should’ve attached some of the side views. They can’t even walk – they’re awkwardly trying to move so that none of their private bits get exposed. Shameless. Or maybe I’m just an old prude!

  3. OHMYGOSH that dress!! WHY?! Who in the world decided that was an appropriate choice? This post seriously made me miss my college days when my roommate and I would spend hours looking at worst dressed photos after awards shows. It was horrifying, hilarious, and entertaining in equal parts.

    Sorry girl, we’re not claiming the Biebs. America has enough screw ups to deal with (not to mention any name…LINDSAY LOHAN!!). Ahem.

    I’ve had these cookies on the brain ever since I saw the teaser on instagram. Can’t wait to try them!

    • Yikes, you left your worst dressed viewing in college? That’s how I spend most of my days now! I loooooooove smutty, trashy entertainment gossip. That’s why it’s featured so prominently on my blog! I can’t talk about politics or important world events, nor do I know much about the law but I DO know everything about movie stars! Hmmm…maybe that’s not something I should be admitting online.

  4. We don’t want Beibs either! What about sending him to the north pole? I think a life of isolation would be appropriate. Also I was totally expecting a chest thumbing photo of Celine when you brought her up. There must be a GIF out there somewhere! So no the cookies. Hell yeah! I heard someone else mention how cream cheese in them is amazing. Guess I’ll have to give it a go now.

    • I’m really really disappointed that I don’t have a GIF of Celine thumping her chest. It’s a signature move for God’s sake! People of the internet, y’all better get moving on this.

  5. Oh my gosh that dress??? My eyes are sore. Thankfully you had cookies too. These cookies look amazing. I’ve read of how cream cheese makes cookies creamy and good. Just must try.

    • Lol, I know. Every time I see this dress pop up on another “star” (cause I don’t think these ladies qualify as A listers) I cringe and shake my fists at the heavens. This recipe is really good – I’m loving the cream cheese in the cookies! A ton of chocolate chips helps too 🙂


    coookies. Those you may not have back. You gimme cookies I am keeeeepin’ em!!

    • LMAO Yes! This was my reaction when I kept seeing this dress on the internet! Canadians are going to start a petition for America to KEEP Bieber. It’ll be the battle of the petitions.

  7. I’m going into the kitchen now to make CC Cookies for the hubs – soooooooooo I’m going to make these. I bet they are great! As for Justin Bieber – I think he’ll be deported if convicted of his crimes here and if convicted of the crimes there – he won’t be able to re-enter the U.S. Looks like you are stuck with him. But then – OKlahoma has “Ain’t nobody got time for that” Foxy Brown or whatever that woman’s name is – so…………we are even. No not really, we still win! 🙂

    • Ok, I gotta look up this “ain’t nobody got time for that” Foxy Brown. Who IS she? I’m totally intrigued now! Maybe she and Justin can both be deported to a deserted island. Like how England shipped its criminals off to Australia. Does anyone do that nowadays?

      • Cuba did it to the U.S. in the late 70’s but I’m pretty sure that was the last time! 🙂 I made the cookies and everyone around here – including Mr. Picky Eater himself really liked them! thanks! The woman was some interview right after an apt. fire in Oklahoma City. She was on her way to the store to “get some soda pop when she saw the fire and said, ain’t nobody got time for that!” 🙂

  8. I’ve had enough of Beibs and Ford. I can never have enough of CELINE though. Now about these cookies… there is something about these that make me want to throw my books through the window and go straight to the kitchen! They look so delish!

    I’m just jealous of those women who can fit into those tiny little barely-there dresses. *pouts* They all need a cookie!!! lol

    • Dearest Lyn, how you doin’ girl?! So nice to see you here! Ugh, over where you are, these two ass clowns must be in the news every.single.day. I’d want to throw something at my tv! These women are ridiculous. Talk about desperate cries for attention! Their poor bodies probably haven’t seen a cookie in years.

  9. Be glad the toxic waste dump of celebrity gossip has only two Canadian names on it. There’s plenty down her in the lower 48. Lemme see, there’s Miley Cyrus, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, that man they call Lady Gaga…should I go on? Oh and those dresses? Mrs. Stuntman tells me I have (not zero, but less than zero) fashion sense so the only thing I can say there is that they are worn solely to get their names in the headlines, but yes, bad taste all around.

    Good thing you made these cookies to compensate. They look delicious.

    • Lol, weeeeeell…there are lots of other weird famous Canadians but I thought I’d feature the two biggest idiots in the news right now. Ugh, I can’t stand the Kardashians. Talk about being famous for absolutely nothing! Cookies always make the world seem better. That’s why I make them so often 😉

  10. This is hilarious… hahahaha!! But the cookies? Yeah, serious deliciousness… I need to try them. I’m on a mission to find the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe (I can’t bake to save my life, and my family is ready to replace me)… I’m going to try this recipe this weekend!! I’m so excited!! Maybe this will be the one to save me!! 🙂

    • Thanks so much! If I can make someone laugh, then my job as a blogger is done. I’m on the hunt for the perfect chocolate chip cookie too! So far, my favourite has been the New York Times cookies but there are still so many to try! These ones are pretty damn delicious. I made a double batch and nearly ate all of them myself. Let me know how you like this recipe. Averie Cooks never fails me!

  11. You sure you don’t want Justin back? We are willing to give him up!
    Anyways… Just yesterday I was in a lunch meeting and they ordered cookies from a bakery and they looked exactly like the ones you have pictured here. And I was wondering these look so different than my cookies, I think they were cream cheese.
    Well, now I have to try these. SO THANKS, in a good way not a sarcastic thanks….


    • I know you guys are – over 100,000 people signed a petition for Barack Obama to deport his ass! We Canadians need to start our own petition to force the US to keep him. Yes, you definitely need to try this recipe. The world is just so much better with cookies!

  12. Hi Nancy, thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier. I can’t wait to look through all of your delicious baked goods. I’ve never tried chocolate chip cookies with cream cheese before, but they around amazing! Justin Bieber- not so amazing. Please take him back 🙂

    • You’re so welcome, Natasha! Like I said, from what I’ve seen so far, I’m in love with your blog! Yes to the cream cheese chocolate chip cookies, a big hells nah to the Biebs!

  13. All nude dresses confuse me… why is there bare coverage? How is it even a dress then?
    Fashion is no longer fashion anymore – I think it is much better for size -1 ladies like that to eat delicious cookies like this! 😀


    • I know, right?!?! It’s so insane! I look at celebrity gossip and fashion sites all the time and the crap I see famous people wearing (or not wearing because they’re basically naked) just boggles the mind. I can’t be THAT old ‘n prudish, can I? Let’s all just eat cookies and stop thinking about it.

  14. Ditto, ditto to all your sentiments, Miss Nancy. I admire your brilliant taste =) And I love Averie Cooks recipes…because so far, fingers crossed, every single one turns out great! You have definitely nailed the cream cheese chocolate chip cookie making business…I’ve clipped the recipe and hope to replicate this happiness to go with my Celine Dion song listening =)

  15. Oh girl, I missed these posts! You’re hilarious but serious at the same time, it just makes my morning! And it’s true, Canada has been all over the news lately, for this and that. I won’t get into details in this answer, or add new stories from this part of the world, otherwise we’ll be here all day…
    Chocolate chip cookies to the rescue! Looking good!

    • Thanks, Paula! I’ve missed being here on my blog. I’ve missed baking, taking photos, blogging and talking to all of you! As for celebrity gossip, you can hit me up anytime. I LOVE talking about smutty celebrity news!

  16. Gah! I think I need to make those cookies today!

    There is no defending Canadians as of late. And I include Celine – I mean, she basically sewed a tiara to her head for her wedding. That’s at least as creepy as Justin…

    • Not to mention the fact that she talks about how she wanted to be with Renee when she was just 12 years old and how she overshares when it comes to their sex life *shudder*. Even still, the crazy tiara thing only hurt herself and the rest of it is endearing comedic gold.

  17. Hahaha Nancy, I cracked up at all of these photos and yes, Beiber needs to stop acting like a douche, there I said it. I’m so tired of hearing how he is endangering other people’s lives!! Anyway, these cookies look absolutely AMAZING!!! So fluffy, soft and chewy and delish. I saw another cream cheese chocolate chip cookie recipe on another blog and it was one of the top most pinned cookies last year. Ever since I saw it, I’ve been meaning to come up with a vegan version….your gorgeous cookies have reminded me to get on thtat, stat! Miss your posts….you always make me smile! 😀

  18. Nancy, I love a good chocolate chip cookie, and cream cheese just makes everything better. I will have to give these a try. The “Biebs” actually lives in my neighborhood, and I think everybody is wishing he’d go back to Canada. Poor kid, I think he needs his mom.

    • Really?! He lives in your hood? Crazy! Ugh, his mom is enabling him as much as the next person. No one is forcing him to take accountability for anything. Apparently his dad was part of the entourage who was with Justin when he was pulled over and arrested for the DUI. Let’s stop talking about him and eat cookies instead!

  19. Hahaha Nancy! Oh, how I missed your sass. 😉 Do you remember Gwyneth Paltrow’s sideless dress awhile back? I was pretty horrified by that too. (But horrified in a I-can’t-look-away kind of way.) These cookies are gorgeous! It’s interesting, I tried a variation of this cream cheese chocolate chip cookie a few months back and found that it didn’t spread much for me either. Glad to know it’s not just me and my finicky oven.

    • Yeeeeesssss! I do remember that dress. Damn skinny bitch. Only these negative dress sized women can wear this crap. It’s totally like a train wreck, right? I can never look away! Nope, it’s not just you and your oven. Did your recipe call for the dough to be chilled? That definitely contributed to the no-spreading-ness of the cookies. I like ’em that way – real thick ‘n soft!

  20. You are a hoot, my friend!!! I’m so glad you’re back. The US has enough messed up celebs, it’s nice of Canada to share a couple with us, too. As for these cookies, I think I would have eaten half the dough…so maybe a double batch is in order?

    • Lol, we do like to contribute! Thanks for your sweet comments, Liz. I actually doubled the original recipe and STILL managed to eat them all myself! There’s no way I’d fit into any of these crazy dresses now!

  21. hahaha omg you NEED to do more posts like these!!!! those DRESSES too!!! what’s astonishing is that it’s not even just the celebrity that wore the dress who thought it was a good idea…also the designer, stylist, etc. but mmm I really want to try these cookies, the cream cheese is intriguing me and I can’t wait to try it out for myself!!

    • I KNOW! Epic fails all around. Who are these people? Why’d they think it’s a good idea? They just want the attention (which I’m willingly giving them. I’m totally part of the problem!). You definitely need to try the cream cheese cookie. It’s delicious! It’ll give you fuel for the crazy marathons you run 😉

  22. Hahaha I love reading your random rants. I was shocked to hear the whole Bieber thing. The kid’s insane! Anyhow, I don’t really pay much mind to celebs- just keep giving me something good to watch, okay?! But these cookies here are freaking amazing. First thing I would do is attack those melted chocolate chips – yeaa!

    • It’s a good thing you don’t waste all your time reading celebrity gossip like me, Connie. It’s a total time suck! I’d rather be oblivious and just bake ‘n eat cookies. We need to meet up one day and just spend all our time doing that.

  23. Nooooo take Bieber back! Did you hear there was a petition to deport him going around and because it reached so many signatures, The White House has to officially respond? I hope it’s good news (for us) 😉 These cookies are screaming my name. I absolutely love CCC!

  24. Missed you Nancy and you did not fail in making me smile 🙂 Seriously, look at that dress, why wear something at all!Hope you had a great time during on holiday!Your cookies look fantastic and I could easily finish off a good few of these in one go 🙂

    • Awwww, thanks, Soni! It’s good to be back! My trip was fabulous but coming back, not so much. Was bedridden with the flu for about two weeks while dealing with our house being renovated. Not fun! As soon as I was on my feet again, I baked these cookies to make up for it all 🙂

  25. First of all, cookie dough is the best thing ever. That dress however, is terrifying. Truly. Also, 3 cheers for random things in cookies! I saw on your IG that you’ve got some pretzel goodness coming up as well – can’t wait!

    • Yup, I LOVE baking with pretzels for that salty-sweet, crunchy combo. And indeed, the dress is terrifying. I just saw another photo today of a pseudo-famous person wearing a version of it. Whyyyyyyyy?!?!?!

  26. Girl, I’ve missed you. Your humor, wit, and sarcasm. I love it all! Well, we don’t want Justin either, so what do we do now? Do you think we can ship him overseas? Oh my…that dress is awful. You’re right, there aren’t enough “whys” in the whole world. In this case, less isn’t more. I think staying classy is sexy. You know, leaving a little to be desired. Certainly not showing it all. I just recently baked cookies using cream cheese, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. The cookies turned out so soft. I love this recipe!

    • I’ve missed blogging and communicating w/ y’all! Thanks for the sweet words, Jennie. It can’t just be me being a total prude – why in the hell is everyone naked nowadays?! You can definitely be classy and sexy at the same time. I’m in love with baking cookies with cream cheese now. Gotta do it some more!

    • I’m always happy to amuse! I can’t believe the insane weather you guys are getting. We’re having a cold spell in Vancouver right now (with wind chill it feels like negative 15 degrees C) which probably makes you laugh because it’s way colder where you are. Plus, it’s sunny out here instead of the mountains of snow you’re getting. Sorry! Bake some cookies, it’ll make you feel better 🙂

    • Thanks Danielle! If I didn’t laugh at life I’d probably be crying right now 😉 These cookies are indeed moist ‘n delicious. I wish I were eating a batch of them right now!

  27. Those cookies look fantastic; I love trying variations on chocolate chip cookies. Great post as well. Justin Bieber is definitely one of my least favorite celebrities!! He’s a disgrace.

  28. Pingback: A Cake Smash for My Two Year Blogiversary | gotta get baked

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